I Have No Delusions.
I have been dancing since the year 2002. I started as a Belly Dancer for 5 years, when injury barred me from doing that I started Ballroom Dance and Lindy Hop. My focus in Ballroom is American Smooth and more recently International Standard. To supplement the Ballroom dance my teacher, about a year and a half ago, suggested that I start taking ballet classes. I did and I love it.
I have no delusions.
I will never be a Prima Ballerina.
The challenge laid before me is of my own brain and it seems simple enough, until you get into the psychology of it.
The simple: How good can I get?
The really hard: How good can I get with out comparing myself to others and not going crazy trying to measure my growth with out said comparison and without other dancers comparisons and head games driving me into crazy-cut-a-bitch-town?
Because I will throw down. No. I won’t. I WOULD NEVER, but in my head you should really see the generic Eastern European Latin dancer being held back by her partner with her hair all a tussle, make up smeared, choking on her false eyelashes as she throws her arms in the air, fist clenching a broken bedazzled high heel shoe. No one really knows where the rip happened in her dress or how it all started but I finished it. As I walk away I don’t look back. Cool dancers don’t look back at that kind of explosion.
This blog is about my personal amalgamation of experiences that I have as a dancer (in many genera’s) in an attempt to have a constructive place for my struggles and internal monologue of deluded fantasies that will (hopefully) keep myself (and others) sane (