The Spinning Dancer and Her Dizzy Brain

In every dance the commonality, no matter what the style or steps, are the spins. Spinning is a life long relationship. You will always, no matter what level of dancer you are, want (have to) to improve your spins; everyone loves a spinner. Ginger Rogers wasn’t a great spinner, and that’s why I love her. Everyone, even Ginger need(ed)s to work on their spins.

I remember being 5, my friends spinning and spinning until they’d get so dizzy they’d fall down. They would laugh. At 5, without having the real vocabulary to know what happened, I tried it and that was the day I learned about my “limits”. People say that my affliction stems from my inner ear, an imbalance of liquids; technically it’s something to do with something in my head. I like to see it as I twirl and twirl and twirl my brain starts to lag behind so like a top, even when I stop the brain is still spinning until, I, like a top, fall over and die.

It took me 10 years to learn how to spot. To put it another way, I suffered for 10 years wanting to wretch my guts out, burping while praying the room to stop turning. After every attempt at practicing a spot I’d wait until the next morning for that ucky horrible feeling to subside. The day that I could snap my neck around fast enough to bring my eyes back to a fixed point on a wall, I was already so dizzy and nauseated I couldn’t celebrate the moment.

It has taken me 10 years to have goals as a dancer. I now get how helpful they can be. I learned how to spot my goals and now the ballroom competition that I have been getting ready for is in 9 days. I’m not scared or stressed about that right now. I’m feeling more mellon collie then anything; in 9 days I won’t have a goal anymore, I will have to figure myself a new one.

In 9 days I will have to make the decision if I can continue to really compete because of the reality of the hefty price tag. I don’t know if I will be satisfied with the occasional winter showcase performance. I already know that I won’t. Who even knows if my body will be able to keep up with these goals. My body like the top has a way of falling over and dying. My list of injuries is getting ridiculous. (I shredded every tendon in my left ankle in a snow boarding accident. I can dislocate both shoulders whenever I want. I have 2 herniated discs and 1 that is desiccated. Now my knees are screaming and I don’t know why.)

I’ve been getting ready for this competition seriously for 5 months. I have had a great goal. I’m finally near the end of it and I am so nauseated with the thought of what comes next, I can’t even celebrate the moments. I have an amazing pink sparkly dress! Shouldn’t that make everything better?  Yet my eyes can’t fix to a spot on the bedazzled mirror ball and that is just stupid. Clearly there is something wrong with my head.

I better enjoy it on the competition floor and I give it my all or I give all the amazing people who have been putting up with my sorry ass permission to smack me; in the face.

About TheSpinningDancer

I am a follower of the Church of Dance. Dream Bunnies and Mourning Doves follow me at night.
This entry was posted in ballroom, ballroom dance, dance, dwts, lindy hop, students, swing dance, teachers, teaching, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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